Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘Assholes’

.
This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on WordPress

Don’t get me wrong, I’m in favor of what I call and others on the center-left call common sense gun control. And no that doesn’t mean gun prohibition and outlawing the second amendment. It means prohibiting stupid and crazy people and criminals who might be both, or even highly intelligent from owning or possessing firearms in America. And I’m not talking about preventing your average serial jaywalker from having a gun. Or even above average or below average serial jaywalker. For example since I qualify as a serial jaywalker and damn proud of my illegal walking across the streets, I wouldn’t be banned under common sense gun control from owning or possessing a firearm. As long as I don’t go stupid or nuts or become a real criminal that actually hurts innocent people. Which is who I’m talking about.

But gun control is like putting out a burning house with a baby’s spit, to try to solve a much larger problem and to put it simply. And if that is still not simple enough for you, you might be on my list of people who shouldn’t own or possess firearms in America. We need to go much further than that and if you are seriously interested in passing a constitutional amendment and are concern about gun violence, I might have an idea for you. How about we pass a constitutional amendment that prohibits idiots and mental patients from owning or possessing firearms in America. We’ll call it the mentally handicapped violence prevention amendment, or HVPA for all of you acronym junkies. Who obviously have way too much free time, or you wouldn’t be an acronym junkie.

I know what you are thinking, the politically correct crazy Left (MSNBC) would go nuts over this, because for one their gun rights would be taken away. But they would have a problem with Americans being denied rights simply for being stupid or crazy and claim discrimination towards stupid and crazy people. And perhaps invent new terms like nutism, which would be like racism for crazy people. And perhaps idiotism, which would be like racism for, well for idiots, if you’re keeping score at home. And if you are, similar to the acronym junkie, get a life.

I’m not trying to make fun of a very serious subject here. Strike that, of course I am, but hopefully doing it in a way that makes a serious solid point. Which is as long as we have stupid and crazy people with access to firearms in America, legal or illegal they’ll find ways to get guns and then take out their frustrations on people that they see as threats, who are completely innocent. If you don’t believe me and perhaps see me as a reporter for The Onion or something, (I wish) just look at the mental condition’s of our shooters the last what four years now and the people they’ve hurt or killed as a result.
Crazy People

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Megyn Kelly

Megyn Kelly


This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on WordPress

I’m going to start this post off with a few expressions that may sound cheesy today, but explain what I’m getting at perfectly. “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. And the other one being, “every good reporters gets at least two sources on their story before they run with it”. The second is definitely true, but since we are now in a twenty-four hour news cycle with the first to report on something considered to be the winner in the Super Bowl of ratings war, even if they are inaccurate with their reporting, that rule is not followed very much anymore. It’s about being first and figuring out what actually happened later.

My point is about Fox News and her’s another expression, take everything that Fox News reports, especially about Democrats, people on the Left or even Republicans and people on the Right that the Tea Party and Far-Right views as RINOS or fake Republicans with at least a jar of salt. Forget about the grain of salt cliché, I mean seriously what can you do with a grain of salt anyway, it probably won’t even make you thirsty. Fox News in name only and they are only there as the official mouthpiece for the Tea Party and Far-Right in America. And perhaps the only cable network that take Representative Michelle Bachmann seriously and doesn’t see her as an escaped mental patient.

Everything you saw in this video actually happened. The Newsroom just took from what Fox News and other right-wing media sources reported on air. They just used their own lips, mouths and pieces against them. What’s the quickest way to defeat your opponent in an election or any other political battle? Use their own words against them, but make sure you inform people who are awake, competent and listening to you. Anytime Fox News claims to report something and you’re someone who is actually interested in news, well if that’s the case you’re probably not watching Fox News, but if you are, check at least three or four real news sources to make sure what FNC is reporting is actually accurate.

Read Full Post »

.
This post was originally posted at The New Democrat on Blogger

I wonder if Bill Maher includes himself in the group “most Americans are dumb and uneducated”. I also wonder where he got those polls and numbers he was apparently quoting. Assuming what he does is a real job, he wouldn’t have the time go do those polls himself, or do all the research. Bill Maher again leaves me with a piece where I’m sort of with him, but not completely there. Are there stupid Americans, you might as well ask if their lakes in Minnesota, snow in Alaska, or water in Michigan. That is not a real question or debate. And to be completely truthful, I don’t believe “are most Americans stupid a real question and debate either”.

If most Americans were stupid, the country wouldn’t be nearly as developed as it is and far along and powerful across the board as it is. Why, because a country run by idiots and not just in the public sector and private sector couldn’t create that. Why, because they are idiots and what are idiots good for, well why are they called idiots, because they are experts on idiocy. I know Bill Maher is a comedian, at least technically so what he says should be taken with at least jar of salt every time he even tries to sound serious, but he’s simply wrong about that.

Now here is where I agree with Maher. And again no debate, too many stupid Americans, but why is that, one our education system, public for the most part isn’t as good as it needs to be for a country this size. Too many Americans either not finishing high school and even if they do not getting out of high school what they should’ve gotten that taxpayers paid for and as a result having to take high school courses in the junior college that would take them so they can finish their high school education and be ready for junior college.

But it is not just education, but it is also about values. And no I’m not a Religious Conservative, but things that people need to do well in America, aren’t valued as highly as what is considered hot or awesome at the time by too many young Americans. Which is how you get such a high percentage of Americans who couldn’t tell who their U.S. Representative is, even if it meant winning the latest smart phone with a year of free service. Why because they are too busy playing video games, watching so-called reality TV, what was the latest bar their favorite celebrity got kicked out of. Or what Kim Kardashian had for lunch in Beverly Hills on Saturday and what shoes she wore with her purse.

A lot of young Americans are more interested in these celebrity culture and technology stories, than they are in current affairs and politics. And forget about American history or the U.S. Constitution, “because that is like so yesterday and not awesome”. Actually for a lot of Millennial’s, what happened last year, “is like so ancient history”. American history and current affairs is being replaced by valley culture and valley pop. At least in the short-term, hopefully at some point they’ll grow up and become more serious and respectful of things and people who came before them. But right now they are making America look stupid.
Mark Twain

Read Full Post »

Master Smartass

Master Smartass

This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Journal

People have asked me what’s my style of humor, my sense of humor and how I come up with lines and so-forth. I’m not saying I’m a professional comedian or anything (at least I haven’t gotten paid for being funny, yet) . But I have been able to make people laugh hysterically, intentionally and unintentionally in the past. And I’ve told them simply my sense of humor is off the cuff, I say what’s on my mind when I’m thinking it. Rather than “that sounds funny and use it two weeks later”. To me humor has to be fast and relevant. Example of a bad joke. Cracking jokes about Priests at a football game, is probably not a smart play.

First of all you’re likely to offend a lot of people there and not seem funny, but insulting. Which to me are two different things, but you’re going to get strange looks (or end up wearing someone else’s lunch) like making a Catholic joke at a football game when some half-naked moron runs on to the field during the game and people will look at you like “what does a drunk Priest in Church have to do with the guy who ran on the field”. You’re humor needs to be relevant and needs to make sense. And what I do is, I see myself as an analyst of life, we all are and I make judgements and comment on things that I see whatever is that interests me. If you watch the sitcom MASH or Seinfeld, that’s exactly what they do. Here’s the situation, what you think about it and they would look for the funny side of it.

Alan Alda who played Hawkeye Pierce, my favorite sitcom character of all time. If not in TV in general would be performing surgery and cracking jokes as he’s doing it while saving the patients life. One to relax the people he was working with in that stressful environment, but also to relax himself. “This is the situation and this is what’s funny about it was their approach to comedy”. To give you a personal example, I use to work in customer service, have about twelve years experience of that. And we were surrounded by people, customers mostly for whatever reason, they were nervous or whatever. But would go brain-dead when they would approach you and ask the dumbest questions possible.

No joke when I worked at a movie theater, we had to wear these loud maroon colored red polo shirts. With the name of the movie theater on them, with these corny name tags on them. I’m Joe or Sally or whatever, with your name on them obviously, (what was the first clue). We just got a lot of customers that were either, drunk, high or both or perhaps just had brain surgery, but their doctor actually removed their brain by accident.

Smart answers to dumb questions

Customers would constantly walk up to me and ask, do I work here. And seriously this is no joke, I would always reply with a smart ass answer and I never got in trouble for it. And I would say no, I stole this shirt or I’m a member of the theater fan club.

“Do you sell popcorn?” No we are the only movie theater in America that doesn’t sell popcorn. We sell Chinese food instead, but sorry no chopsticks you have to eat with your hands.

Again true story, one day I’m in a ticket booth, selling tickets, naturally. (If you would guessed I was selling sporting equipment, you would be wrong). And someone asked, me where do you buy tickets, I told them three blocks down the street at the gas station, but if you want your oil changed or need gas, you have to buy it here.

Another person asked what size is the small popcorn. I said small we aren’t trying to fool you with false advertising even though that would be very tempting because of the quality of our customers. “Well what does it look like”? It looks small. Again no joke someone asked how much are free refills, I told them five bucks, but we only take travelers checks. Again this is the situation in front of me and that’s what I was thinking right at that moment.

That’s the style of humor that you get from Kevin Spacey the actor/director/writer, but I would throw in comedian as well. The guy could’ve been a full-time professional comedian if he wanted to. Watch the movies Swimming with The Sharks and Hurley Burley, The Big Kahuna and you’ll see what I mean. I would add Chris Walken and Tom Hanks to that list because their humor is so spontaneous, off the top of their heads, they don’t need scripts or writers. They do that for themselves which is what all great comedians do and is a style of humor I’ve patterned mine behind.

Read Full Post »

What a Dick

What a Dick

Source: This piece was originally posted at FRS Daily Journal

The J.R. Ewing character played by Larry Hagman is one of my favorite characters of all time on TV. Because he was so real, didn’t try to be the nicest guy in the World and wasn’t the meanest. But he was one of the best, let’s say dick’s of all-time, not because he was the meanest, but because of how clever and funny he was. And the words he chose to at other people’s expense. J.R. Ewing was a dick, but he played by Larry Hagman was so good at it, that you almost had to respect him for it. “That asshole can really put you down”.

J.R. is one of those people who you always knew where you were with him. And if you weren’t on the top of your game, he would be more than willing to let you know about it. Kinda of like that judge mental parent or perhaps uncle, where nothing is ever good enough for them. So what you always do is everything you can to try to please that person, to keep them from criticizing you. Which helps you in a way, because it gives you incentive to improve and be at your best. The constructive critic.

I call J.R. Ewing who was played by Larry Hagman of course and I’m not sure anyone could’ve played J.R. better, because their sense of humors matched up so well, the funniest prick in the Southwest. Because he knew how to put someone down, or put them back in their place, especially when they were out of line. But he was accurate and direct. Someone who would tell you the way it is and make you laugh at the same time.
Chris Early: The Best of JR EwingChris Early: The Best of JR Ewing

Read Full Post »

Sarah Michelle

Duh & Uh

This piece was originally posted at FRS Daily Journal

I don’t want to sound like a preacher because I’m completely unqualified to be one, which doesn’t stop many other people from preaching by the way. But it stops me from doing it, so one up for me but having said that I do like offering my views on everyday life. And when I see hypocrisy I like to jump on it, like an obese person at a free all you can eat buffet.

But Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann represent what happens when we as people put style over substance and give people attention, responsibility and allow them to run for public office because we like them, we think they are cool, (oh I’m sorry awesome) or they have a great sense of humor deliver a lot of great humor intentionally and unintentionally and I can give you a long list of people in both parties. So long that we would have to tear down almost every tree in the country, or at least in the Northwest to have enough paper to finish this list. But since this is about Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann I’ll start there and if I need more paper, I’ll chop down a tree or save myself some time and buy some paper.

Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachamnn aren’t political stars because of their great depth and intelligence on anything. Because they don’t have any great depth or intelligence about anything. Sarah Palin didn’t even know the role and responsibilities of the office she was running for back in 2008 when John McCain nominated here for Vice President. (Hint, hint pretty big clue there) Kinda like when you have a hot stove and instead of putting your hand on the hot stove to decide if its hot or not, you already know that its hot because you feel the hot air from it.

Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are popular at least among the Far-Right in the Republican Party and outside of the party (at least among the Far-Right that doesn’t see women as property), because they’re likable, funny, attractive. And yes to use a word I try not to overuse, except when I’m impersonating valley people, awesome or at least considered awesome. Sarah Palin is famous because John McCain was scared to death about losing the presidential election in 2008.

Because Senator McCain was the Republican Leader replacing George W. Bush and had to have a running mate that the Republican Party would love and could appeal to the Far-Right and they either knew about Sarah Palin going in about how unqualified she was for any high Federal office. And figured they would try to teach her in the McCain Administration or perhaps nominate someone else for Vice President in 2012. Sorta how George H.W. Bush felt about then Senator Dan Quale in 1988. Or didn’t do their homework about Palin at all and believed she was worth the risk. It was the ultimate riverboat gamble that blew up in their face, but they were probably going to lose anyway. Thats why Sarah Palin is famous in America and makes for great TV because she is very entertaining and attractive. Just not cut out for public office.

Michelle Bachman is famous because she’s the first mental patient to ever get elected to Congress, House or Senate and is very provocative, funny (sometimes intentional a lot of times not) and very attractive so she shows up well on TV and in public. But knows very little to anything about anything she’s talking about and has a habit of attacking people based on quotes that were given to her. But then when’s she’s asked about where she got her info, she doesn’t know because she didn’t actually the read the info herself. Which is what happened when she got on Rick Perry about health care back in a Republican debate in September when GOV. Perry was the frontrunner.

Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann aren’t famous and popular with their bases because of their intellect or depth on any on the important issues that we face as a country, but because they both make for great “reality TV” and both represent the dumbing down of American politics.

.

Read Full Post »

.
This post was originally posted at FRS Citizen Journal on Blogger

Bill Maher loves to make fun of the Christian Right, or does a damn good job of impersonating someone who loves to make fun of the Christian Right, so good he should win an Oscar. Why not they are big easy target, kinda like aiming at an ocean from a beach. So why not shoot, instead of comedians and bloggers actually sitting down and putting their hand to their chin and going “hum what should I write about now”. How about just listen to ignorant people talk and make fun of them instead. Thats what I always say anyway, or just said it actually that’s the first time I just said that, but who’s counting, well I guess I just did.

I mean think about who’s easier to make fun of then ignorant people, especially when they’re in charge like I don’t know in the White House, or Congress.

Examples of doing dumb things-

Sending the country to war based on false intelligence to use as an example. Trying to link Iraq with Al -Qaeda, which is like trying to link a prostitute with the Southern Baptist Convention. They don’t go together, sure there are Southern Baptists that like Prostitutes, but they generally don’t go together. Or trying to link homosexuality with the 9/11 Attacks. If these people weren’t so stupid, I might be mad at them just because of their hate. But since they are so stupid, its hard for me not to feel anything, but sorry for them. They are victims of our public education system and not being raised right.

And because of this, the rest of society gets to laugh at them and put up with them. Here’s another one, Catholics can’t go to heaven because they aren’t Baptist. Isn’t Heaven meant for good people. When we don’t raise our kids right, or make sure they get a good education, they suffer the consequences of that of course. And a lot of them end up in our criminal justice system generally as guests. But the rest of society, sure gets some new easy big targets to shoot at, like a blimp over a stadium. (In other words Rush Limbaugh) But we have to deal with their stupidity, their lack of intelligence. Like what we had on Iraq before we went to war. Especially when they are pressured to run for high office to help their party. Because of their name recognition and who their father is and they end up having to make decisions.

The presidency isn’t ignorant politicians, or it sure as hell shouldn’t be. Can you imagine what it must have been like for Condoleezza Rice to explain intelligence reports to George W. Bush. She must have had to use drawings or try to compare military combat with football games or something. This whole idea, or attacking another country because they may attack you in the future. First of all our national defense is so strong that would never happen. Because any foreign fighter plane or planes or warships that attempted to invade the United States because of our radar system would first be warned before they got close or could launch an attack. And then we could blow them away as well. The rest of the world knows this, which is why we haven’t been attacked by a foreign military inside America since 1941.

Ignorant people on the Far-Right and Far-Left are fun to make fun of, lets just admit that. We can’t or shouldn’t be nice to everyone. For every Saint that we have, we need a few (pardon the term) assholes to keep it real. So most of the country can stay within striking distance of reality. (When they aren’t high) But we need to remember that we pay a price for ignorance as a country, especially when it reaches high office. Because we as a country or state lets say, have together paid a price for their stupid decisions. So let’s do our part to prevent as many future ignorant people in the future as we can.
Albert Einstein

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »