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Posts Tagged ‘Sarcastic’

What a Dick

What a Dick

Source: This piece was originally posted at FRS Daily Journal

The J.R. Ewing character played by Larry Hagman is one of my favorite characters of all time on TV. Because he was so real, didn’t try to be the nicest guy in the World and wasn’t the meanest. But he was one of the best, let’s say dick’s of all-time, not because he was the meanest, but because of how clever and funny he was. And the words he chose to at other people’s expense. J.R. Ewing was a dick, but he played by Larry Hagman was so good at it, that you almost had to respect him for it. “That asshole can really put you down”.

J.R. is one of those people who you always knew where you were with him. And if you weren’t on the top of your game, he would be more than willing to let you know about it. Kinda of like that judge mental parent or perhaps uncle, where nothing is ever good enough for them. So what you always do is everything you can to try to please that person, to keep them from criticizing you. Which helps you in a way, because it gives you incentive to improve and be at your best. The constructive critic.

I call J.R. Ewing who was played by Larry Hagman of course and I’m not sure anyone could’ve played J.R. better, because their sense of humors matched up so well, the funniest prick in the Southwest. Because he knew how to put someone down, or put them back in their place, especially when they were out of line. But he was accurate and direct. Someone who would tell you the way it is and make you laugh at the same time.
Chris Early: The Best of JR EwingChris Early: The Best of JR Ewing

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Madam Smartass

Madam Smartass


This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Journal

I was never a huge fan NBC’s Golden Girls, a sitcom about senior single women sharing a house together. But I did love the Dorothy character played by Bea Arthur because she reminded of my maternal grandmother. Who I believe is where I got my flip off the cuff sense of humor, a wiseass who has very little tolerance for stupid questions. My grandmother was very similar and when my grandfather would say something lets say not real bright, or ask a dumb question, she would nail him for it every time even with company.

So I tried to be more careful how I talked to her unless, I wanted a real good laugh because I knew I could nailed for saying something dumb as well. Sarcasm when done right is the perfect tool to combat stupidity. And people who for whatever reason are having a brain camp at your expense and so what you get to do if you’re up for to the task is show them how dumb they are being and how bad their lack of thinking is at that point.

I’ve been lucky to a certain extent. Because I’ve had jobs in the service industries where I have a lot of experience around people who for whatever reasons aren’t thinking very well. And end up asking questions they should already know the answers to. Or are simply unaware that they know the answer to whatever question they are asking. So when I get a dumb question, I nail the person for it not to make them feel like an idiot. Just to let them know that they just asked a dumb question. And they should’ve put a little more thought into it before asking me that question again.

And when I’m on, I can even get funny response out of the person who I just called out for not being very bright.

For example lets say to make up a character, I tell Joe I’m flying to St. Louis from Washington. I’ve never actually landed in St. Louis, flown over it sure, but for the purpose of this example I’ve flown to St. Louis. And he says “so you are taking a plane?” And I say no Joe I’ve borrowed the wings of a bald eagle and going to fly myself. And Joe says something like “try not to run into any birds. I know how limited you’re flying experience is”. Or something like that.

Sarcasm when done right is a tool to combat stupidity. I prefer to use the term flip or off the cuff. Because sarcasm can be very mean, when you have someone whose overly cynical and whose always looking for the weakness in anything just to put someone down. Sarcasm at its best is a tool to let someone know. “You know what, that’s’ a real dumb question. You should know better and perhaps do and just aren’t thinking very well right now”. By showing that person how dumb they sound at that point.

My definitions of dumb questions are any question asked by someone who already knows the answer to the question they are asking, but not aware of it or someone who should know the answer to the question they are asking. But lacks basic fundamental knowledge and whose just being lazy. And my other definition of a dumb question is a question that has the answer in the question, but who’s simply not aware of that. And I’ll explain what I mean. My example of a dumb question where the person who asking the question should know better, but asks the question anyway.

Lets say you are driving to someone’s friends house for a visit or dinner or whatever. And they call you while you are driving to get an idea when you’ll be over and you say I’m on the road now. And I should be there in that about twenty minutes. And your friend says “you are driving now?” Of course you are driving now you just said you are on the road you told the person last night you are coming over. They know you drive and so-forth.

My other example of a dumb question, the question with the answer in it. I use to work at a movie theater and worked concessions a lot and someone would ask me.

“What size is small”? Well its small obviously or we wouldn’t call it small. And every time I was asked that question I would say well small and I never got in trouble for it. To go to my first example of a dumb question, when I worked at that theater I was always asked do I work there. What else would I be doing there wearing that cheesy maroon shirt and name tag if I didn’t work there.

Again Sarcasm when used effectively is a tool to combat stupidity, “you sure you don’t know the answer to that question”. To let the person know they should’ve put a little more thought into that question. And when sarcasm is misused, it’s the ultimate mental weapon to put people down and to try to make them feel worthless or stupid. So if you do have a quick off the cuff sense of humor, have a conscience as well because you’ll make a lot of people laugh without sounding like an asshole.

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MASH
This post was originally posted at The New Democrat

I’ve been asked a lot in my lifetime all thirty-eight years of it by people who know me, but perhaps not very well, people who I’m friendly with. “How do you describe your sense of humor”? Because if I’m friendly with you and we get along and open up with each other, my humor will come out of lot because it is a big form of communication for me. Because I use it to basically let people know how I’m doing and how I’m feeling.

I have a real good friend who I met in high school over twenty years ago. (Damn that makes me feel old!) Who gets the same question, actually her sister asked him that the same question. Actually she asked us together one night when we were hanging out together. And I’m going to give you the same answer as I gave her and my buddy feels the same way. Because we essentially have the same sense of humor. Actually he stole mine, and I’m borrowing someone else’s, but anyway. We both have a low-tolerance for stupidity, stupid questions or people acting stupid. And we use our spontaneous sense of humor to let people know what we think of that.

I posted the video of M*A*S*H in this blog because that show had the same sense of humor. Looking for funny moments in life wherever possible and doing it in the worst circumstances possible. Thousands of miles away from home in a land they perhaps never heard of before the Korean War. And having to try to save as many lives as possible in the heart of this war. When they could’ve been killed at any time, but using that humor to keep their sanity. And joy for life as much as possible as so many people around them lost their lives.

What makes M*A*S*H the best sitcom of all time is the writing and this style of humor. And Alan Alda who in many ways was playing himself when he was playing Captain Dr. Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce the Chief Surgeon of this 4077 M*A*S*H Unit. Unlike a lot of the sitcoms of today that are cookie cutter and use each other’s material. Or lines they picked up from the last hit movie comedy or latest hit comedian. M*A*S*H used their own lines that hadn’t been written before or only heard by very few people. And the humor was based around finding the funniest and stupidest things in a horrible situation. To keep their joy of life alive.

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Woody Allen
Source: This piece was originally posted at The New Democrat

As conservative, snobby and Anglo-Saxon waspy as Bill Buckley came off at least came off as, he had a damn quick and good sense of humor. He wasn’t so preppy and full of himself and thought he knew it all about everything that he couldn’t take a joke and fire one back right on target and get a reaction and even laugh out of the people he was talking to. And I think that comes off in this quick little interview between two of the best wisecrack artists who ever lived in Woody Allen and Bill Buckley.
Metrazol Electricity: Woody Allen and William Buckley

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Prick Stuck in The Middle of Two Women

Prick Stuck in The Middle of Two Women

Source: CBS: Dallas- JR Ewing Quotes

JR Ewing, was the funniest prick in Dallas stuck between two women he didn’t treat very well.One of them Sue Ellen Sheppard, played by Linda Gray, (the Goddess of Dallas) and several mistress’s he had on the show. Larry Hagman, who played J.R., was perfect for that character, because he had a comedic wit and a keen intelligence. And was someone who knew himself very well. And would do anything i took including hurting others to achive his goals. Not saying that Larry Hagman was also a prick. (People who know him better are better to judged) But to give you an idea of how great a character actor that Hagman was, he made J.R. Ewing who was a selfish womanizing prick, into one of the most popular characters in Hollywood history.

But Larry Hagman also had a comedic wit and keen intelligence and was a great character actor and comedian. And played his characters to the hilt. Hagman made J.R. Ewing. Sort of how Alan Alda made Captain Hawkeye Pierce on MASH. They turned those characters into themselves as if they were playing themselves on their show. Which to me at least is a sign of a great actor. Does the actor make the character believable or not. J.R. Ewing, has this unique ability of putting people in their place, but being very funny and accurate at the same time. He knew the people he was talking to very well. And what they thought of him and what they both had on each other.

J.R.Ewing’s wives and mistress’s, knew he was a bastard, but that he was a very successful bastard and a very wealthy bastard. And part of why he was so successful in life besides being the son a very wealthy Texas oil man, was that he was a successful bastard. He knew how to screw people and then was smart enough to either pay them off, or screw them in a way where if they tried to retaliate it would only get worst for them, because J.R. could simply destroy them. Which poses this question given that J.R.’s lady friends already knowing this, why were they drawn to this J.R. Well the same reason why people are interested in serial killers and crooked career politicians. Because they are so good at what they do and are so successful at it despite their character flaws.

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